It's been four years that I haven't written anything and as you age among many things you develop FEAR & FAT, are two things that prosper the quickest.
So at one point of time I cherished writing but today I'm suffering through a writers block and as I type I fear of being judged about my writing, my style, my grammer I can feel butterflies in my stomach.
But this is not why I have mustered all my courage to write,I have come to pen down my thoughts about something I feel very strongly about and because I have been suffering from it for a while and still do, as humans its difficult to remove such innate fears, they become a part of you, who you are and your personality so I keep shuffling between my insecurities and my confidence.
So its been 5 years that I have been away from home and as much I enjoy being being independent and alone, I miss home the most. In these 5 years so many things have changed.
As life paced my metabolic system slowed down.
As my hair thinned my waistline broadened.
As I lost immunity my adipose increased.
As work increased friends reduced
Stress, competition soared my believe in me shook.
As fashion changed Style was lost
Distances increased bond became deeper
With age came in maturity ( Now maturity is relative, its only implies when you have to use it for others we become a douche-bag when it's about us)
So as I mentioned as time passed things changed but two things that remained constant were the judgments and the society and now I realized how much the society and its judgement affect me that it took me 5 years to be able to talk about it.
Its about body image & how one superficially we look at ourselves and we get affected by everything around us. About being individuals, in our relationships, in our work, how we look at things. That in the process we forget to be ourselves or how will we deal with a situation in our own way. I think among all the 7 sins the one we have fed the most is GREED. Greed to want more, greed to be this, greed to be like someone else, greed to have a relationship this them and we forget how we would do the same things being our self.
We live in a society that is very critical of others about everything and they have a opinion on everything (Its good to be free thinkers) but I feel the society has lost the art of appreciating things which has resulted in various kinds of complexes inferiority superiority or more perhaps I am not aware about many.
We have forgotten to love ourselves and people around us we have become problem creators than solvers. Humanity & Compassion is looked at a very surface level now only content on web makes us feel such way and sadly enough its only watched, we are not imbibing it in ourselves.
Let me give you few examples; I will mostly speak of myself and little about people that I know because I feel even they have gone through the same.
In past two years I have become so conscious about my weight that I tried everything fad diet in the world and failed miserably it was later i realized I was never conscious about my weight it was the health but society kept rubbing it on my face not knowing what all I have gone through which resulted into this. Despite knowing I am beautiful and I looked great I suffered through a complex and gradually I realized I was never weight conscious but health conscious. And how I do my bit to keep myself healthy not for anyone else but ME. And now each day brings me closer to myself.
Similarly I meet a lot of people who keep feeding things they don't have and starving what they have and by the time you realize it it lost.
In the end I have to say one things we are all divine souls created by God with varied purpose and meaning.
None of our is perfect but we are all beautiful.
We are all born with certain traits characteristics body type please be yourself and blossom with what you were born with and believed in rather than trying to be someone else because the society thinks it should be that way.
APPRECIATE YOURSELF
AND BE YOU BRAVELY 
